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Monday, November 23, 2009


I'm at work, and had brought a ziploc bag of pretzels to snack on..but...
I have already eaten them all within the first hour. : ( Haha, i love pretzels so much!

Another thing that i have found i love, is actually to bake. Is that weird, seeing how i dont even know how to cook normal food? I guess I have to start somewhere right? ha. Ty's always picking on me about that. He enjoys cooking with me i think..ha. That or he's a really good faker! I think he's just grateful I'm finally learning to be efficient in the kitchen..haha. For 18 years i've relied heavily on my mom or a microwave lol.

We're trying to decide what to bake to bring to Thanksgiving with his mom's family..maybe they'll like me better if i come bearing gifts? hahaha.

Since September, I've really been struggling with where my life is going and what not. More like, where I'm supposed to be right now. I know, that I should have gone to Masters. I have acknowledged that, and it has broken my heart. I stayed because I was afraid, and thought that I knew how to control my future better than God or something. Which of course, I didnt. So i've been in much remorse over feeling as if I missed my chance with doing God's will, and that he's punishing me for being here now, when I should have been in Missouri until April. But last night...I got freedom. I finally felt redeemed. We were just singing "How I love you Jesus" in church, over and over, and as I sang it, and Stephen Ivey said that He loves to hear us say that...I got so excited, just in hearing that I could do something still that God absolutely loved. I was so over joyed by this..I ask God "Really?? You love this??" much like a little kid..and he said "I love YOU. I still love YOU. Its ok. " I just bawled...i asked, "what do i do now? how can i..just what can i do?" and He said plain as day, "Just love me."
A burden lifted. A weight off my chest...I could physically feel it.
It's ok. I'm redeemed.
i WILL love You!

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